| Eli didn't want me taking his picture at school, but he was so anxious to get to class that he was willing to smile if I would just let him go. Don't worry, I wasn't the only mom with a camera. :-) |
| They have to line up in their classes outside, and then the teacher (Mrs. Cady) walks them inside to the classroom. |
Today Eli started full-day kindergarten, and he was as happy as can be. He was so excited he couldn't even eat breakfast (I had to tell him he couldn't go to school without eating), and that's usually his favorite meal of the day. Of course, it was one of those bittersweet moments for me. I'm so happy that he's so excited, and I know he'll do so well, but it wasn't easy. I cried last night before I went to bed and again this morning after I said good-bye, and I'm getting teary-eyed again just writing this. Boy, if I'm this bad now, I'm going to be a mess when he graduates or goes on a mission or gets married. I guess it's all part of being a mom, huh? I would say parent, but Josh seems to be taking it a lot better. I'm definitely the crier of us two.
I've had those panic moments where I wonder if I've taught him enough in just five short years (four, technically, because he probably didn't understand much the first year). And by teaching him enough, I mean morally and spiritually because it's scary thinking about all the things he will encounter in school. Kids are exposed to things so young now that they have to be incredibly wise even in elementary. We've encountered things on the playground at parks already, but at least I've always been there to supervise and help him make good choices.
I'm so grateful for Eli--who he is and who he's becoming. I'm grateful for the time I got to spend alone with him during the day. I have been thinking a lot about that the last week or so. This whole infertility thing has been an incredible challenge in my life, but by not being able to have more children, I got to spend all my time with Eli. I didn't have the stress and worry of dealing with other children, so I could focus on him. What a great blessing that has been! It definitely makes it harder sending him to school, but I will never regret all the time I have invested in him and him alone.
"Sometimes what you get turns out to be better than what you wanted in the first place."
--Eve Bunting

